By Peter Howe

The universe sure has a sense of humour.

Here I am, writing about letting go of resistance and embracing acceptance—on a day when I did the exact opposite.

Oh, the irony.

My anxiety was through the roof.
Nothing was going the way I wanted.
Everything felt like too much.

I was overthinking, stressed, overwhelmed—so lost in it that I couldn’t see a way out.

I kept pushing, resisting, spiralling.

And to top it all off? My laptop joined the fun and refused to cooperate for most of the day. Classic.

By the time the day was over, I had a headache, and I was beyond drained.

The Real Struggle Isn't Life—It's Our Resistance to It

Life is challenging. No one gets a free pass.

But here’s what I’ve come to realise:

The struggle isn’t in the challenges themselves. It’s in our resistance to them.

It’s in the stories our mind creates—the ones we believe without question:

This shouldn’t be happening.
This isn’t okay.
It should be different.
They shouldn’t have said that.
I should be further ahead.

But here’s the thing:

The moment you stop resisting, the suffering dissolves.

What remains?

Clarity.
Stillness.
Peace.

The ability to respond instead of react.

Acceptance Isn't Giving Up—It's Letting Life Work for You

This isn’t about giving up.

It’s about stopping the fight against what already is.

It’s about going with the current of life instead of exhausting yourself trying to swim against it.

It’s about realising that even in your hardest moments, something deeper is unfolding—something that, if you allow it, can transform the way you experience life.

The Paradox of Acceptance

The paradox of acceptance is that the moment we fully allow something to be as it is, it begins to change on its own.

True freedom doesn’t come from fighting, fixing, or resisting—it comes from fully accepting what is:

If you want to be happier, accept your moments of unhappiness.
If you want to feel secure, accept your insecurities.
If you want to feel confident, accept the moments you don’t feel confident.
If you want to ease anxiety, accept the moments you feel anxious.
If you want to embody trust, accept that uncertainty is part of life.
If you want to experience more love, accept the parts of yourself you don’t love.
If you want to experience more peace of mind, accept what is.

Acceptance isn’t passive—it’s the doorway to transformation.

My Struggle With Resistance

Early in life, I learned that control equated to safety.

I believed:

If I could manage my environment and predict outcomes, I wouldn’t be caught off guard.
If things unfolded the way I needed them to, I’d be okay—I’d feel safe.
If I could avoid discomfort, I would be fine.

Why We Learn to Resist Life

As children, we are influenced by the people and environments we’re in, especially by our parents or caregivers.

It’s like we absorb these rules about how to survive in the world.

We look to our parents or caregivers for safety, stability, and guidance. But when the environment and their emotions feel unpredictable, we perceive that as a threat.

It could be:

Anger – We learn to keep quiet.
Withdrawal – We feel invisible, wondering if we matter.
Reactions – We stay on high alert and become the peacemaker.
Inconsistency - We feel unsettled, never quite knowing where we stand.
Punishment – We try to get everything right.

Because we depend on them for survival, we adapt and create beliefs and ways of thinking that become our identity without even realising we’re doing it.

We read the room.
We anticipate reaction
We shut down our feelings.
We adjust our behaviour to avoid discomfort.
We stop being ourselves to avoid conflict.

The mind’s top priority is safety, so the safest option for a child in those environments is to adapt—changing themselves and their behaviours to ensure protection and acceptance. Expressing our true selves may not feel safe, so we learn to fit in, adjust, and do whatever it takes to feel secure.

Over time, these adaptations solidify into unconscious ways of thinking about who we are, how others see us, and how the world works—and this becomes the lens through which we see life.

So we learn:

If I control my environment, I’ll feel safer.
If I keep things predictable, I’ll be at ease.
If I manage people’s emotions, I’ll be okay.
If I get everything right, I won’t be hurt or punished.

And we carry this into adulthood.

The More We Resist, the More We Suffer

The tighter we hold on, the more painful it becomes.
The more we fight reality, the more exhausted we feel.
The harder we push, the more suffering we experience.

We don’t even realise we’re caught in a battle we can never win—gripping onto control, believing it will keep us safe.

But here’s the problem: It doesn’t.

Control doesn’t create safety, and life doesn’t work that way.

Life is constantly moving, shifting, unfolding—in ways we can’t predict or control. That’s its nature.

Yet, because we are so identified with our thoughts and conditioned ways of thinking, we resist life itself—believing that it should be different than it is.

The Moment It All Changed

Through deep reflection, emotional turmoil, and learning this work, I finally saw it.

My need for safety and control was just an old survival strategy—one that had once protected me, but no longer served me.

And instead of resenting it, I thanked it for carrying me through some very difficult times.

I began to let it go because I saw it for what it was.
I had an insight about it.

It started to shift in small moments of acceptance:

In pauses, where I chose to breathe instead of react.
In quiet whispers of wisdom, telling me: Maybe I don’t have to fight this.
In moments of relief, when I stopped forcing life to be something it wasn’t.
In moments of tears, when I accepted my history.
In moments of peace, when I accepted where I am in my life and who I am.

The Big Realisation?

The safety and ease I had been chasing were never in the form of ‘control.’

They were always within me.

And within me is the power to accept what is.

I didn’t need to control everything to be safe.
I didn’t need to fight reality to be okay.
I didn’t need to change who I was to belong.

I could finally step out of surviving and into thriving.

Because life isn’t wrong.
My life isn’t wrong.
It never was.

And it never needed to change for me to be free.

What is Resistance?

Resistance is the invisible force our mind creates that pushes against life—the refusal to accept what already is.

It shows up in many forms:

Mental resistance – Overthinking, replaying the past, wishing it were different, fearing the future, obsessing over control.
Emotional resistance – Suppressing feelings, judging emotions, pretending we’re fine, emotional reactions.
Physical resistance – Tension, heat, a clenched jaw, shallow breathing, restlessness, a physical act.

And the more we resist, the more we suffer.

It’s like trying to hold a beach ball underwater.

You can push, struggle, and use your strength to hold it down—but eventually, you’ll get tired.

And the moment you let go? The ball retruns to the surface. Effortlessly.

That’s us! That’s our nature.

Beneath all the stress, overthinking, and pushing—we’re already okay. we’re already whole.

The moment we stop resisting, we automatically return to clarity, peace, and wholeness.

Questions For Reflection:

What if you’re already whole, free, and at peace—and you don’t need to control life to experience that?
What if you naturally rise back to your true self by letting go of resistance?
What if that was the foundation of who you truly are?
How would that shift the way you move through life?
What if there’s nothing to fix or force—only something to see?

In Part 2, we’ll explore why we resist, practicing acceptance and what it truly means to trust life!

I invite you to reflect on what has resonated with you here and the questions for reflection. If you have an insight or breakthrough, Let me know! I’d love to hear from you.

With love,
Peter

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Part One: The Power of Acceptance: Your Guide to Finding Peace With What is